synchro

Jack of all trades.

This week the team of online word warriors answer questions from our fellow members.  Hailey provided me with my topic: Liz- if you could only do one sport (from tri) for the rest of your life, which one would it be and why? Then provide some of your fave moments/routes of this sport, or bucket list things you would like to do with this sport.

We meet so many triathletes that have a clear answer for this. That big guy with the shorn legs is yelling, “BIKE!” while the woman with the gills is waiting for the race that gets shortened to just a swim.

I consider myself a “true triathlete,” meaning I really don’t have one clear winner nor one clear loser. That’s me: “Jack of all trades, master of none.”  I’m decidedly run-of-the-mill in all three sports, so which one do I do for the rest of my life? Let’s break it down.

Swim. I’m a naturally decent swimmer.  I’m very lucky that way.  I never took swim lessons as a kid unless you count the few seasons of synchro during those painfully awkward tween years. Nothing helps a girls’ confidence like a bun and nose plugs. I’m not a first out of the pack swimmer, but I don’t work that hard at it either. I enjoy the water and I would not have survived pregnancy without it. I can see how an aging body could continue to swim long into the golden years. However, with the exception of Vancouver’s amazing Kits Pool in the summer, the view doesn’t change much. A black line is a black line.

Bike. There is no sport that makes you feel like a child free in the world like cycling.  Heading out the door knowing you can make it hundreds of miles under your own power is a disaster preparedness plan like no other. I got a late start to biking also.  I was six. SIX! I recall the day clearly. I needed to get to the beach at my Aunt and Uncle’s cabin. I had been walking there in bare feet on pointy rocks and pebbles. I turned back, pick up one of the many bikes and off I went.  The peddles felt so smooth under my feet. I spent the rest of the time of that vacation riding everywhere I could. Bike is a strong contender.

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Does this still count?

Run: all you need are shoes. I could probably end this post on that point. Shoes. No bike to maintain. No water or wetness. There are so many places you can see on two feet. I traveled around Europe solo one summer and was on the other end of many an odd look as I laced up at the hostel and headed out the door to run around a new city. Apparently, I was meant to be so hung-over that I see only the inside of a dingy bunk room.

I have examined the evidence and weighed the pros and cons.  As much as I want to cop out and choose more than one, I shall answer the question as stated. If I could do only one of the three sports for the rest of my life I would choose: running.  It’s social, accessible and I can take up kiteboarding to get the rush lost from riding a bike.  The strangest thing about choosing running is that I really don’t have any “bucket list” running events. Even Boston doesn’t make me tick. There is the ongoing family wager that if I can beat my dad’s PB marathon time of 3:25 he will take up running again (he’s 66,) but that involves running a marathon. Considering it’s been 10 years since my only open marathon, the bucket list might get drawn up very soon.  Thanks for the question Hailey.  Let’s go for a run one of these days. In fact, lets all go: Christine, Jen, Laurel, Caitlin, Elizabeth, and Erin!

 

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Minimal wasted effort.

Hello again. Next up on the blog challenge with the gang (Hailey, Jen, Laurel, Christine, Caitlin, Elizabeth, Erin,) we take on“time management.”  I guess because we are all tri-nerds (or some type of athlete) with jobs and lives and stuff we somewhere got the idea that we should tell you fine folks how to “fit it all in.”  I know what you’re thinking at this point, “Liz, aren’t you a stay at home mom? Don’t you have all the time in the world to eat bon-bons and do the weekly crossword?”  Oh, of course I do!  I’ve already made a casserole, ironed the kids’ sheets, watched my favorite weekly soap and set my hair in curlers before sitting down to write this.  Just call me Betty Draper.

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Or not.  I know I don’t have some fancy job or need to commute 2 hours a day, but my days are annoyingly disrupted.  A typical day involves some variation of: make coffee, nurse baby, chase toddler to get dressed, calm fussy baby, get toddler to [enter activity here], open computer, calm fussy baby, write one line of email, nurse baby, drink cold coffee, write another line of email…..etc. I can get things done, but in time snippets of about 6 minutes before I must drop everything to tend to the needs of a small human.

So how DO I get in workouts?  Again, I’m sure you are all thinking, “you can just workout while they nap.”  I do manage to ride when I only have the baby in my charge, but he often wins the fuss battle. I stop mid-ride a sweaty mess and attempt to not soak him while he feeds. Other workouts are done in the evenings or during the amazing 1.25 hours of kid-free time I employ once a week.  I use this 75 minutes to strut around the gym like I own the place, despite the back fat escaping my tank top and that I could probably do my whole workout with a single 8lb dumbbell. I do enough that I’m effectively crippled for days.

I do have one real advantage when it comes to time management. I’m lazy. “How would being lazy help get MORE done,” you ask?  Simple. I need to be efficient.  In fact, I have honestly considered studying to become an efficiency expert.  Nothing drives me more crazy than someone taking extra steps to complete a task. One of the greatest inventions for people like me has been the self checkout at markets and drugstores.  I’m all over that shit. Scan, place item, scan, place item, complete transaction, out.

Other points of efficiency in my life: I wear one of three outfits daily, I eat standing up, I brush my teeth while doing the laundry, I clean the bathroom while I shower, I have a strict 2:1 workout to shower ratio and most importantly, I have remarkably few f#$ks to give. Giving even one f#$k that the house needs vacuuming, the fridge is housing food from last summer or my eyebrows need plucking would take away from the more fulfilling parts of life.  Nope, I efficiently refuse to give a f#$k about all the things that don’t make me happy.

“Be lazier to get more done” – Liz Cullen 2017

7 for 2017

*Editor’s note: I wrote this before reading SMOs entry. Demonstration of brain sharing when you spend an inordinate amount of time with someone. Also note how she “dabbles in parenting.”

 

I sat down to start writing this “7 things of 2017” post and had a little hissy-fit. I thought these fine women (Hailey, Erin, Jen, Elizabeth, Laurel, Caitlin and Christine) were asking me to set some inconsequential goals for the year that will, apparently, change my life and make my digestive acoustics smell like crisp ocean air. I then thought I should write my usual satirical take on life changing ticks of the clock, but it’s just too easy. Have we learned nothing since 1999?  When a computer reaches 1999, it logically ticks over to 2000. It doesn’t blow up. It just carries on counting. So why do we think our entire lives can change with one change of number at the end of your cheque book? If you still have a cheque book that is. Maybe your landlord lives in the 21st century age of e-transfer.

Then Hailey posted her 7 things and I realized it can just be things we are looking forward too. Ding! I can do that.  So here they are: 7 things I’m looking forward to in 2017.

  1. Fitness. Hello? Is it me you’re looking for? The one things I can say about being really really out of shape is that there’s no way to go but up. Lately, I’ve come home from runs with a smile on my face and a bounce in my step. There’s still a long way to go, but I’m getting to be ok with that. When I do get fit, I’m gonna be that super annoying person that thinks the whole world needs to see her abs on social media. OK, maybe I won’t. That really is the worst.
  2. Numbers. I like numbers. Numbers don’t lie and they, in certain context, can tell a story. I want to use my love of numbers to make confidence decisions about what my athletes are doing for training. I do already, I just want to do it more and do it better. I also want to use my numbers to make decisions about what I’m doing with my own training. I’m self-coached, due to budget constraints, and I can do better at coaching myself. New power meter. New Heart rate monitor. No more excuses.
  3. Trips. Two trips are already planned. The usual trip to Maui with the family and a race trip to Coeur D’Alene for the 70.3. Nowhere new, but at least it’s getting out of town. Hopefully, some others added to the list before the end of the year pending my tethered small friend and his ability to eat without mum.
  4. Timing Chips. I didn’t wear a timing chip at all in 2016. 2017 holds more timing chips, race bibs, startlines and (hopefully) finish lines.
  5. Ocho. I’ll explain another time, but I’m really excited about this one.
  6. Mountains. I miss adventures with my friends. In 2015, it was trail runs up mountains, epic 200k bike rides, skate skiing, skiing. I want to get back to a level of fitness where I can confidently head out the door with my friends and seek adventures. This is no laughable feat; my friends are really fit.
  7. Oceans. In 2016, I swam in the ocean once. It was the day before Elliot arrived. I stepped on a boat once. I miss the ocean and the adventures with my husband. He likes boats. He builds boats; you should buy oneb39574_269b18a1e3d94bf0ac497864c95fe4edmv2. I want adventures on the ocean with all my boys.

So there you go; 7 things that, hopefully, don’t sounds too “resolutiony.”

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2016 and stuff.

2016.

The year people can’t wait to be over.

I’m not going to write some post about how many people died and why this was the worst year ever.  I’m also not going to write a counterpoint post about how awesome it was either.  If you read a few posts back, this was clearly not my favorite year (until Aug 19 of course.) My fellow blog pals (here, here, here, here, here, here, and here) are all writing about their successes in sport and life in 2016. Instead I’m going to tell you about my 2016 and 1998.  Why 1998?  Well, I just turned 36 years old and it blows my mind that it’s been 18 years.

1.       1998 was the year I graduated highschool and started university. I recall finding my first year science classes completely overwhelming at 400+ students per lecture.  I sat near the back and didn’t pay as much attention as I probably should have, considering I paid to be there.

2.       It’s been 18 years and I still don’t know what I should be when I grow up. On this note, I find it hard to fathom how I was supposed to know what to study at the age of 17.

3.       2016 was the year I took the most naps. I recall being the most tired ever.

4.       I spent my 18th birthday on a plane headed to South Africa, so it was a shortened day.

5.       I spent my 36th birthday in Whistler with my family.  It seemed like a long day and I was in bed at 9pm.

6.       18 is considered an adult.  I’m still waiting to feel like one despite having two kids. I drop my kids off at various activities at the community centre and feel intimidated by the other moms.  They seem like adults; I’m still driving a car with manual locks and often forget my underwear at the pool.

7.       19 is the drinking age in BC so in 1998 I was underage.  I used a friend’s ID to go to the bars on campus.  Once, her lab partner was the bouncer and he let me in anyways.

8.       I spent most of 2016 sober (hopefully for obvious reasons) and I missed beer most of all. I’m enjoying an ale as I type)

9.       Swimming was free for students at certain times at the university pool and thus began my development in the sport. The pool was also a favourite spot to study and by that, I mean the national swim team. 😉

10.   Swimming was my favorite thing to do in 2016, probably because I was rather buoyant.

11.   I got a pair of Roots Tuff boots for my birthday in 1998.  I threw them out only a few weeks ago.

12.   My favourite purchase of 2016 is the power meter for my tri bike despite it continually telling me how out of shape I am. 

13.   This summer I went to Saskatoon, Saskatchewan. I had never been before and although it seems like a nice place (ie. I don’t want to offend anyone) I have no plans to return. Maybe I would have enjoyed it more with beer.

14.   The movie “You’ve Got Mail” came out in 1998 and my hair stylist thought I’d look great with a short, sassy blond cut like Meg Ryan.  (Editors note: I think she was correct and I still have a similar style)

15.   No movies in 2016 have influenced my style of leggings and nice socks.

16. Despite lows of 2016, this is worth remembering:

 

 

No inspiration intended.

I’m just home from a run that I entitled “Running Sucks” on my Strava profile.  It does. It sucks.  As does swimming and at times, biking.  Basically I suck at sport.

Before I continue let’s get one thing straight: I’m not writing this to be some poster-girl for postpartum fitness and inspire thousands to get fit post baby.  I’m not meaning to be inspiring in the least.  Inspiring people ride unicorns to the organic market to buy spelt muffins and vegan smoothies.  I’m not that. I mostly want a record of how much I suck on this day so one day I might look back and marvel at how much things sucked.

I know baby E is only 2 months old.  That knowledge has not escaped me, but that doesn’t make this suck any less.  I also know I did it once before and I’ll get there, but that doesn’t make this suck any less.

To recap: I did an Ironman July 2015. On Sept 10, 2016 I rode 17km and it sucked.  I stopped 8k into the dead flat ride to catch my breath.  I cried when I got home.

I have managed to get on my bike 20 times since then and I think it’s sucking less.  I could possibly ride 30k again, but I haven’t tried due to the fear of getting 15k away and not making it home.  I treated myself to a power meter to help get back on track.  It tells me my watts are 100 low from where they once were.  Combine that with the 25lbs extra and it makes any hill look like Mt. Ventoux.  So I ride indoors a lot.  Usually while the kids nap which means the baby is getting used to salty milk and the 3 year old is getting used to Paw Patrol when he wakes up 20mins into a 45 min ride. It’s not ideal.

I have swum a total of 2500m in 3 months. I guess that makes sucking at swimming no surprise.

Running is the worst.  I run 2 minutes at a time and by the end of the 120 seconds my heart rate is at threshold and my body hurts.  Then I walk and try to run another 2 minutes. I probably shouldn’t even be running based on how loose some stuff feels, but mental health sometimes trumps physical health.

The definition of the slang version of suck: to be objectionable or inadequate.

So there’s my update. Training is objectionable and inadequate.

#2

Napping is the key to salvation whether it be in the middle of a tough training block or 10 days in to two kids at home.  I’ve always excelled at napping and these days it’s a skill I don’t take for granted.  I napped at least 5 times per week for the last 10 months foregoing only on days my toddler wouldn’t allow it or I had to work (gasp!).  And it’s possible that the frequency and duration of these naps occupied the time I had previously spent writing things on this page.

Although I could have probably found a little time to write some snippets about my summer, I probably would have offended readers.  I don’t think it’s a big secret from my last post that pregnancy and I don’t get along and saying I was a tad grumpy is the understatement of the year.  I was more like a female House (from House, duh) as obviously I consider myself as intelligent as he.  Better I think myself a genius than ridiculously good looking right?

Over the summer, I attempted to keep moving which became harder and harder as the lbs came on and my top speed over land reached that of a giant tortoise.  I did manage to keep swimming and am proud to say my performance in the water was a little faster than a manatee which, as it turns out, is still faster than 85% of the human population of Kits pool.

I also bit off more than I could chew with taking a new job for the summer.  Instead of racing Ironmans, I worked them with the athlete services team up here in Canada.  It’ll be a whole other blog post to go into the detail of a behind-the-scenes look of working an Ironman, but let me just tell you that racing one is easier and takes far less time (for me anyways.)

So without going into the gory details, I’ll tell you that my new little man arrived at 4:04am on August 19th.  The parking ticket my husband purchased at the hospital is stamped 2:59am.  Labour was a total BQ qualifying time of 3.5hrs and there was screaming.  I distinctly remember thinking three things: “I would rather be running an Ironman marathon,” “I can’t wait to not be pregnant anymore,” and “men could never do this.”  Seriously, that’s what I was thinking.  When it was over I nuggled my second son Elliot.

So here I am a mom of two and figuring out the new normal.  I can’t wait to get back out “training,” but to the few people that have asked when I’ll be back on my bike, I’d like to tackle pooping without fear first.  It’s going to be a long slow slog back to fitness, but my mood has improved greatly.  I’m more my usual sarcastic self.  I’ll let you know how it goes as it goes, but for now it’s time for a nap.

 

 

Big plans for 2016…

It’s Wednesday at 11:25am. Henry is already down for his nap so I’m writing this in between planning of an all-girls training camp this weekend. The thing is, for me, this training camp is all a ruse.   I am going to go swim-bike-run, but “training” not so much. My season is now all laid out for me: get huge and not in the Arnold- “pump you up” sort of way. No, in the gain 35+ lbs from doing very little and eventually (very eventually) end up with a tiny person sort of way.

I’m only 10 weeks as I write this so probably won’t post for another 4 or so at least, but I figured the joys of pregnancy are fresh on my brain at this point so I should write them down. Joys such as waking up every day terrified to eat and terrified not to eat as either produce that throat full of saliva about to barf kinda feeling. Joys such as leaving the house for a 30 min run, getting 6 mins in and barely able to walk home. Joys such as begging your toddler to be quiet for 30 mins as your migraine takes hold and you crawl into a dark room for 12 hours.

It’s not all bad though. Oh wait, yes it is. Sorry, but at this point I’m just not the glowing, excited momma to be. In my experience, that will arrive with the arrival of tiny human and not before. I know I should be grateful and I am, but it’s hard and I’m not going to paint it like it isn’t. For all you women that don’t get sick and slow and cranky while pregnant or embrace it all as part of a “miracle”, here’s a slow clap for you.

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Recap of things that make me tick (other than my family): training, wine, racing, beer and to some extent, looking fit. That’s 5 for 5 out. For most of 2016.

So here I sit, an Ironman athlete trapped in a slow, tired body that is getting softer with each passing day. I’m looking into cooking classes, and adult colouring books to try and find something to pass the time. You really do find a lot of free time without training 12+ hours a week.

Luckily, I have my athletes to keep me engaged in the triathlon community and I really can gain almost as much satisfaction from watching them race as racing myself. So there you go, something positive to say.

It’s now 12 weeks in and the glimmer of hope I felt last week of feeling human again quickly left with the reappearance of most of my breakfast this morning. I’ve managed a few workouts in the last few weeks that were legit, but all resulted in my sleeping it off for the better part of the next day. I long to awake one morning without my first thought being “how much did I have to drink last night.” (no, of course I haven’t been drinking.) Yesterday I walked up a set of stairs I usually take two at a time and had to put my hands on my knees to catch my breath at the top. I can hear screaming from my former fit self inside this body. Athletes, even recreational ones, spend most of their time controlling both what goes into their bodies and what they can get out of their bodies. Pregnancy forces you to relinquish that control at least part of the time.

Now I’m up to week 13. A few days ago I was feeling pretty good in the morning. I blow-dried my hair, put on jeans and left the house only to get as far as my car and have to scramble outside to expel a foamy, bitter substance that had the distinct flavor of canned salmon. I realized it was my prenatal vitamin complete with Omega-3 fish oil that was being rejected onto the neighbour’s rhododendron. This was a whole new low and somewhat of a turning point. I found humour in my situation for the first time. Progress.

And here we are at week 14. I’ve finally told my family, friends and athletes. Obviously, the most common reaction is “Congratulations!” But there are always those people that need to let you know “I knew it!” Wow, you sleuth you. You noticed I didn’t order my usual IPA, haven’t been running and my barely B-cups are a solid C? You should really consider being a PI. Here’s some advice: even if it was painfully obvious just stick to congratulatory responses. No one likes a know it all.

So there you go, three months in one post. I’ll apologize now for a summer of posts about pregnant athleticism or lack there of, but write what you know. OH, and a big shout out to the team at Coeur Sports for supporting (another) sidelined athlete. I’m sure they knew the risks of an all-female team of mostly child-bearing age. I’ll still be out there in Coeur colours at races, just not IN them.

I’m open to questions about being a pregnant athlete and I promise the most honest response possible. Hormones and fatigue have pretty much removed any last glimmer of a filter to my thoughts so be prepared for brutal honesty.

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