As I lay on my physiotherapist’s table yesterday I got to thinking of all the dumb stuff I spend my money on because of my sport. Obviously I need a bike, helmet and shoes, but it’s all the other crap that no one tells you about until you’ve already made the investment.
Race entry fees. To date, this year alone I have spent $1750 on race entry fees. Most of that did go to my Community Fund spot for Ironman Canada, but still, it’s a lot of money. Stupid eh? Here, let me pay you to kick my own ass. I’ll add at this point, however, that I do have some support from an anonymous sponsor (thanks Dad).
Carbon. What do you mean bikes come in aluminum? It’s all about Carbon fiber frames. And it doesn’t stop there. Cranks, handlebars, shifters, even bottle cages for $60 each. It seems anytime I get my bike all dialed in the way I want I need to add some more carbon. Like my Mavic Wheels….yeah, those weren’t cheap.
Supplements. I guess this one is warranted for more than just triathletes, but I hadn’t worried about it until now. Start adding those endurance events and all of a sudden your blood work is coming back low in iron, B12, Magnesium, Calcium etc and you’re taking horse-tranquilizer sized pills. Seriously, I’m a step away from needing one of those packs that has the days of the week.
Physiotherapy. As I mentioned, I was thinking about this post as I lay on the table. I pay my physio about $75/30mins to put needles in my glutes. You might as well pay someone to punch you in the face, it might feel better.
Race food. Like gels. $2 for a little package of flavoured, snot-like carb. So if you need about 50 g/carbs per hour and you’re out riding for 4 hours, that becomes a $12 bike ride pretty quickly.
Spandex. The fabric most of North America shies away from makes up 70% of my wardrobe. And this damn stuff usually has to be hung to dry making laundry the 4th sport to triathlon.
I guess it could be worse though. There’s lot of other dumb things in this world that I could be spending my money on.
Drugs. I have no idea what the going rate is for coke or heroin, but I’m guessing it’s not cheap. Yep, glad I’m not spending my money on that.
Designer Jeans. Did you know some people spend $450 on ONE pair of jeans? What? Do you know how much carbon that could buy? At least a helmet or something.
Fluevog shoes. Ok, here’s where sometimes I wish I had money for both. I could totally rock these after a race. Yeah?
Gambling. Just dumb.
Beauty products and treatments. My $15 bottle of sunscreen and $20 bottle of chamoix balm is a heck of a savings compared to makeup, Botox or liposuction. As they say: a swim, bike, run in a day keeps the plastic surgeon away.
Wedding dresses. Ok, well I’m not married or engaged, but I sure don’t think I’ll be spending $10k on a Pnina Tornai monstrosity. I just don’t get wedding fashion I guess.
As seen on TV: I don’t own a Shamwow, Slapchop, or a Schticky no matter how convincing Vince can be when I’m sitting on the couch after a long ride.
So you see, I guess I could find worse uses for my money. If you’re reading this, however, and you’re thinking “wow, she seems like a super dedicated athlete that could use my triathlon company’s help. I’d like to sponsor her” feel free to drop me a line. Maybe then I can finally get that Slap Chop I’ve always wanted.